Life throws curve balls at us, doesn't it? We think we have everything planned, then we find out that WE are not really in control at all. Plans mean nothing.
On Thursday, March 31, my husband was taking his parents to an appointment at Arnett Clinic in Lafayette for the results of his mother's biopsy on tumors in her bladder. The doctor was fairly certain that the tumors were malignant, and the methods of treatment were to be discussed also. For several reasons I was selected to meet them for the 9:00 a.m. appointment and record the conversation with the doctor for my sisters-in-law and brother-in-law and for verification of what the doctor had said for everyone sitting in the office at the time. Then I would go to Logansport and teach my ENGL 112 class at 2:00 p.m.
At 5:45 a.m. we received a phone call from my mother-in-law. My father-in-law had slumped into a chair on his way to the bedroom to dress for the appointment and she couldn't wake him. She had called 911. My husband left immediately, and I soon followed. Despite the efforts of the EMTs and the doctor at Pulaski Memorial Hospital in Winamac, no heartbeat was found. My father-in-law died of a massive heart attack on Thursday morning, March 31.
Thus began the worst days of my life thus far. When my father died, he had been suffering from mesothelioma for over a year. His death gave meaning to the phrase "he isn't suffering any more." We were expecting his death. This death was a shock. We were stunned. Calling my sisters-in-law to tell them to meet us at the hospital. Calling my brother-in-law in Kansas to tell him his father had died. Calling our daughters who adored their grandfather. Calling cousins. Friends of the family. Lions members (he was active in the state organization). Church members. Neighbors. The funeral home. The florist. The pall bearers. Gathering at the family home, talking with friends who stopped to offer condolences. Finding places for all of the food that was brought to the house.
Anyone who has sat in one of my classes knows that I am very family oriented. My family is a top priority for me. My in-laws have always stressed the importance of family to all of us. They celebrated their 66th wedding anniversary in August. They are role models to the rest of us of how a marriage should be. They were the glue that held our family together. There were no in-laws in their vocabulary. I was their daughter, as was Angie, and Kent and Clay were their sons. Clay's two daughters were always considered their granddaughters, not step-grandchildren. Family is important.
The hurt is still too new for us to have returned to our normal routine. Even when things finally do seem like they are back to normal, they won't be because there is a void now that can never be filled. That place at the table will always be empty. Never again will it take five minutes to say goodbye on the phone. No one will be complaining about the rain, or lack of it, or which variety of soybeans need to be planted where. The patriarch is no longer with us.
Just when we have a day planned, we discover that our plans mean nothing. They can change in a blink of an eye, by one phone call, when least expected.
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